On the brink of the Memorial Day Weekend, Vice President Kamala Harris found herself in the sadly familiar crosshairs of the faux outrage, Faux News machine. Her transgression this time? Having the temerity to tell people to “enjoy the long weekend.” Suddenly she was disrespecting the troops and the sanctity of Memorial Day. Never mind that many of her critics have long histories of issuing similar sentiments. We have ample evidence that hypocrisy is their currency and shame is an emotion they do not feel.
But below this ridiculousness is an issue that is bigger and worthy of discussion. We live in a world with grave problems. We need to not look away from climate change, the pandemic, the attacks on democracy, institutional racism, poverty, hunger, mental illness, wars and famines overseas, and onward and onward. We might wish to take moments of reflection like Memorial Day with the solemnity that they offer.
On the other hand, we need to embrace life and live it while we have it. We seek out the pleasures of walks through the woods, a stroll through a museum, a summer concert, or a ballgame on TV. We want to talk to family and friends, not only about what worries us, but about what makes us happy. We read for knowledge, but also for pleasure. We hope to be able to help others, but also create the space for our own lives and needs.
I know you take the challenges of our planet seriously. That’s why you are part of this community. But I also know that you seek out opportunities for reflection —another reason I believe many of you are here. I have been encouraged that when we’ve published on joyful topics, like wildflowers, the response has been tremendous. So what I want to talk about today is balance.
How do you define balance?
How do you seek it in your life?
And how do you see it in the lives of others?
Thanks as always for adding your voice and engaging with the Steady community.
Some ground rules for these Wednesday chats (and also the comments sections on other posts):
I want a space where people feel safe to express their views, as long as they are offered in good faith.
I want a space where ideas can be challenged, especially my own.
I want debate. But I want it to be civil.
I want people to come here with open minds, and open hearts.
I want this to be fun as well as serious.
We can agree to disagree without being disagreeable.
When I can experience struggle and yet find joy and peace in the day-I am in balance. For me, I find it outside. I live in MT and walk the trails behind my house-seeing the beauty, the power and the vastness connects and grounds me. It gets me outside of my head. Balance is always changing and a pendulum must complete its swing from side to side.
I was the gal that worked 55 to 80 hours per week, all week including the weekend for 17 years. In other functions for a total of 25 years. When the conglomerate I worked for decided to scale down, I was one of 700 that lost jobs in one day. I had to sit in the parking lot for a time before I could drive the 20 miles home. I honestly did not know what to do next. I was an aging worker. I got a new job fairly quickly and it was similar work, much better environment. That joy only lasted 18 months. Now, truly no jobs to be had in my field. I went back to school, graduated, got a degree. I immediately started on another degree, finished, passed the state boards again. Got a third certification and began looking for work. I loved being a student. I was also one of the oldest in each class. I got part time work, and since this was not enough income, took a second job. This was ok and lasted for a few years. Suddenly a car accident from 30+ years ago makes itself known in an ugly fashion. Mind you that I was raised in a town of 700 people and had a very strong work ethics. Long story short, injuries and pain forced me to retire at age 60. I have learned to do what I can and do a few more things the next day. I sit and nap with my Basenji dogs. My husband and I have lovely dinners....everyday
I have started growing berries, what a way to work!!! I love being retired. I also only take in news in manageable bites. I only get my news from you, Mr. Rather, Mother Jones and CNN.
I'm not sure balance is the correct term for what I look for. I spent 35 years working in the forests of the Pacific Northwest before I retired. The forest didn't care about me. I had to learn to care about the forest in spite of that. It always had a way of introducing new obstacles to me. I would get frustrated at times but more importantly I learned that frustration was the biggest obstacle I faced. I worked at being open to learning something new every day out there. I learned that it was my responsibility to share what I knew with those that came after me so that they could pass it along and find new ways to be frustrated. Thus, creating a knew learning cycle. It isn't/wasn't a cynical view of the work. Just a reality check I try hard to apply every day. When I feel frustrated by something now I remind myself it's a choice and then go weed the garden. No better satisfaction than a weed free veggie garden.
I haven't read all comments about balance, so pardon me if I am repetitious.
I believe that so little is black and white, or right and wrong, hence, simple. Every day in our life involves decisions, as does every period in history, and to make decisions one has to BALANCE a number of factors. That may involve listing pros and cons, or on a continuum, deciding the importance of the question, or taking a survey, or... And in using whatever method, we're really looking for the best way( if not perfect) to proceed. Perfect (?) balance. Or as close as is possible.
At age 90, the past year has taught me that we all need more balance in our lives. With that in mind, I moved into an independent living apartment, selling my home and freeing me from all the issues of upkeep. And although I still volunteer in some nonprofits, I have also drawn back and have allotted more time for leisure pursuits. Too often, we get caught in the everyday whirlwind and the need to perform, and let life pass by. And forget what others have struggled through to maintain balance in their lives. Thank you for your comments and for the sensitivity you show.
When I was younger during the 1980s which was the US "cold war" or peacetime after the 1960s -1970s civil rights movement. As a young up and coming I found work, college, and a nice apartment in a nice area. I continued college after my daughter was born and got a Bachelor of Science degree all while trying to balance motherhood, work, and life in general. Now times have changed and we are back in the 1960s-70s, but with technology added, and it is now neighbor against neighbor with racism added to all. Finding it difficult to balance. Especially because at age 62 I am not tech savvy, and thought we had overcome racism long ago.
Wow. This is the struggle. The more I keep up with the horrors of the news the more difficult it is to avoid anxiety. I'm an artist so I am in the studio daily painting. I don't listen to political podcasts while I'm working. I'm an avid gardener working on establishing some new landscaping. My 2 dogs keep me in the moment, demanding their walks and playtime. My husband is a FF/paramedic, so his job is stressful. He maintains balance by golfing several times a week. But I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough to help maintain our Democracy etc etc. I feel depleted of adrenalin. So tired of being appalled.
Balance was always a struggle for me in the 41 years I taught public elementary school. Labor laws do not cover the hours spent on the job by school teachers. We sign a contract to complete all duties assigned in the year covered and receive a certain annual salary and, if it takes 24 hours-seven days a week to do it, we are required to get it done. No overtime pay, no limit to the number of hours worked or requirements for breaks after a certain amount of work, unless it is required by state law or school board policy and teachers band together to enforce it. I made the sacrifice of not having biological children of my own because of the demands of the job. I do not call overworking someone to the point that they do not have time and energy left to have children work balance.
I am a simple person (with complicated undertones). If I am fulfilled with all the things I want in life, I have found balance. I will die with a list if things I want to do, learn and share, but my goals are reasonable, my needs few and I consider all else is luxury.
Truly experiencing and being present in the moments of your life is what matters. I think often people are caught up in the rush to do “everything,” but don’t fully appreciate it. That is a hollow experience.
That being said, I had no children; my time is not as divided as many others. I also only owned a television for two years of my life and found it a time/life killer.
I keep stress at bay by cycling, swimming and backpacking it away. I tend to solve all the world’s problems while doing these activities. Volunteering to help others feeds my soul. A body and mind stretch at the end of these activities keeps the thoughts clear.
For me, balance equates a healthy amount of work, pleasure, and relaxation. I work multiple jobs, and often 7-days a week. Fortunately, I find a fair amount of pleasure in the various jobs I do. But like many Americans, I have no real option of taking more than a day or so off.
How do you seek it in your life?
My goal is to be fully present, whether working, relaxing, or doing something that pleases me. I also try to be aware of those times when I need to take a step back, and to do so. And to not feel guilty about doing so -- I think this is a huge issue for a lot of people.
And how do you see it in the lives of others?
In addition to being an news editor for an independent media source that serves a minority religious community, I also work in a retail environment that serves the same community. I spend a lot of my time in conversion with people who are struggling to find that balance in their lives. I interact with a lot of people who are striving to find balance in their lives, and are looking for advice and tools to accomplish this goal.
The pandemic has left a lot of people asking themselves serious questions about how they are spending their time and seeking a more meaningful and deep experience in how they live their lives.
Balance... the one I remember and I still have was the one I acquired when I was a toddler...I found balance and started walking... since then I have fallen: physically, financially, and emotionally at different times during my lifetime. Academically, I just quit at one time but, I made it back and conquered. Graduating Cum Laude and obtaining my MA in Arts with a 3.88 GPA. Definitively I understood that without formal education I was not going to be able to obtain that kind of "balance"... to survive and make it happen for me and my family. I have learned some from it, yet, I find myself tumbling, dropping, plummetting again, for many reasons, however, this time, the triggers have been out of my control. The last President hurt and continues provoking doubt leading to distrust and mistrust increasing mental unbalance/instability in me and others. Yes, it is being hard to find balance, yet, I am centering more on being appreciative of my upbringing, my ancestry, my curiosity, and maybe at some level my reasoning and intelligence. I understand that not all of us have the same opportunity to find control to deal with and continue living with the uncertainties that some leaders insist on promoting I have found strength coming from within after noticing and making an effort to "learn" from each experience. I try to help others as much as I can by making them smile, giving them support ( time and conversations), and volunteering as much as I can... that makes me ( and I hope them) happier and I can find more "balance". (Sorry, English is my third language...I hope you got this!)
I am a retired teacher (proudly, a middle school teacher who taught math...double whammy some would say...but how I loved it). I find balance oddly enough with one of the "rules" of this group, which emphasizes to "agree to disagree without being disagreeable", something I had a lot of experience with in middle-schoolers. Unfortunately during some of the last four years or so, I felt pushed aside by some family members who I never before realized I disagreed with because it never seemed to matter before, even with them. Then it did, more with them than with me. I found balance by doing what I did with the kids...looking past the disagreements that there apparently were. They are coming around more slowly than I am right now, but my door is wide open and always will be for them. I am very happy with that and would like to see more of that in our country. I am optimistic, and along with retirement, content...along with my gardening, volunteering, and very good friends.
All the comments I've read have reflected the reality of our lives: busy, busy, busy. I turned 70 this year and I was stunned to realize how quickly it happened! (Nothing new, I know!) And then I thought about all I have done so far, places I've been and lived, people who have impacted me and what kept coming back were the people in my life. The connections with other folks trying to live their lives fulfilled causes me to reflect on my own life. I've kept a journal since my 40's and although I write sporadically it offers me a time to look at myself and see where I'm off balance and where I am "Steady." The more I spend time in nature, in my garden, walking the beach, walks in nature trails, the more balanced I become. There are so many beautiful ways for all of us to find balance: music, reading, exercise, meditation etc. The incredible blessedness of creation offers everyone a chance to find that moment when suddenly it makes sense and one can breath deeply and smile within.
When I was a kid, Dandelions in the Desert were Flowers for Mother's Day, and we ate fresh sunflower seeds. One thing I never got was why we had to rake the sand. Every damn weekend it was raking sand... When I was 33, I was mowing my yard in NE, always careful to mow around some beautiful blue flowers. My neighbor appeared and said, "You know those are weeds, right?" He had such a neat sparkle in his eye. In an instant it ALL came together: In NE, flowers tell a different story. In NE, we mow the lawn. In the Desert, we rake the sand. In that moment, my neighbor and I BOTH found Balance. 🤗😇
For me it's always a delicate balance between antagonizing the people behaving as bullies and not antagonizing the people who don't deserve that kind of treatment. I have learned in the course of a strange and unpleasant life that if you don't stand up to bullies, their behavior worsens, but that it's not easy to tell the difference between who deserves it and who doesn't. This has been the method I had to learn the hard way. I used to be kind to all repeatedly despite the hurt I received, until a few near-death experiences. I am not that way anymore.
For me, balance is being in touch with the good in life. It has been difficult in the face of ether seemingly endless hate spewed by people in government and elsewhere. I turn off the news and turn to nature. Trees, flowers, birds, deer in the yard. Things that Grace creation and should be appreciated. This week I’m at the gulf and I have coffee on the beach each morning and meditate on the wonders around me. Family is with me and that is pure joy. We don’t have to go far to find balance. It really is right outside our doors and in our hearts.
Balance in daily life for me is trying to find the joy in each aspect of daily living while trying to bring a little happiness or laughter into the life of each person that I encounter. If I can get even a small chuckle, I feel good.
My 4 year old grandson finds balance somewhere between racing me across the back yard and finding "cozy" times to snuggle up and read books. He has a good balance and can move fast and slow down. Maybe we should all approach the balance with the enthusiasm of a 4 year old.
Balance in our lives means defining good and evil or right and wrong. These words or actions cut through the hearts of all of us. We are all born seeking a balance of love and hope for a brighter future. We who are fortunate have parents whi embody this. And those like me never did. But yet you seek a balance in your environment and no matter how much difficulty you encounter you seek the light. You seek hope and have this faith in overcoming. And what you seek, the balance, in your children's lives gives you the fortitude to seek a balance for them a balance of love of hope of faith in humanity. And balance, well, the whole world seeks this. And yet we live in a turmoil world. What to do? Continue to love to show peace even in the mist of horrid pain. Because love forgives all. Remember evil is tbe absence of love.
I have learned alot about balance in the last few years. I am retired and found myself adrift, tending to the needs of my mother, affected by dementia until her passing. Dealing with the death of my husband shortly after retiring. I struggled to maintain a balance in life. The tumultuous four years of a presidency that left me, my loved ones and countless friends off balance. As if we had stepped into an alternate state of being. And then the pandemic. What I learned was that I can not let the news of our state of politics or state of the situation with the pandemic absorb me. I needed to find balance. I could not watch news and talk about news and eat and drink and sleep news. I purposefully chose 1 time of day and 1 local and nationwide broadcast of the news to get my news. I read and take walks and spend time with my children and grandchildren and friends. I cut back on using technology and began writing a journal. All of these things create a more balanced mental and emotional state...for me.
I have found balance this last tumultuous year ( and continue to do so) by enjoying nature and most of all animals. My husband and I have continued our zoo membership even though our kids are grown and no grandkids yet I can’t tell you how many times we have walked the Phoenix zoo. We feel as if the animals are our friends. In addition we have enjoyed biking to our favorite duck filled pond and have befriended the ducks. They walk up to us to be fed the special duck blend food we bought them!! This has all kept me sane!
As an expat living in New Zealand, I feel so fortunate the pandemic is contained at our border. However there is the constant stress of isolation from elderly parents in the US. I take comfort in nature.. in the waves crashing on a quiet winter beach and the snow on the mountain. Take time to just breathe!
I am so thankful for you, Dan. Thank you for being a light for us to see when it’s dark. I always know that I can trust what you write to be truthful and offer perspective. Balance? I’m not sure that I have that. I just try to be grateful for and focus on the important things in life and do what I can to help others.
I don't know if I can define this suitable to others, but, I'll give it a shot.
How do you define balance?
Balance to me is seeing the sun come up in the morning after a good night's sleep. Feeling good, and being able to say at the end of the day, I accomplished something that day. Help someone with something, help an organization in need. Something.
How do you seek it in your life?
Living each day as the Good Lord expects me to live it. Not letting anything get to me, mentally. Handling situiations which arise swiftly, fairly, and abruptly, then moving on. Not dwelling on something that can't be fixed,or resolved, I guess is a better word.
And how do you see it in the lives of others?
I look at all people equally. I was raised that way. No matter the race, creed, color, nation of origin. ALL people are created equal. It's a lot better to treat them as such.
If everyone treated others in this manner, this would be a lot better world. I feel, this is the key to having balance in yourself, others, and the world.
I have spent much of my 76 years in working with and for social justice in varies venues. I easily now get caught up in the struggles we are facing as a nation. I watch the news and read the stories (and the comments sections) to try to keep up. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes I just want it to go away, for peace and justice to prevail. To get the whole mess out of my head. As I am disabled, running away to the mountains or seashore isn't an option. But being still is. Turning off the computer and TV is an option and leads me to being still. I turn to my garden and find a way to completely empty my mind. I like playing in the dirt. I like seeing my corn inching toward the height of an elephant's eye and to fresh corn on the cob. Or strawberries, or tomatoes, or patty pan squash. And when I am comfortably empty of all thoughts, I can return to the struggles and stories, and comments until the next time I am in need of being still.
I do try to achieve balance a lot of the time, although being human I sometimes overbalance. What a petty thing for which to criticize Ms Harris. Memorial Day for me is not only a solemn remembrance of the many deaths I have witnessed and those that went before, but also to try to wash some peacefulness over life, and take the time to appreciate some of nature I don't forget the gravity of what things belong on the front burner, but maybe just try to quiet them every now and again.. There's my balance for this last weekend, and others to come.
I've had an increasingly hard time with the notion of "balance" in these discussions because, like a marble at the apex of a pyramid, it's too precarious to be practical. One slight deflection of the center off perfect perpendicularity and the whole things falls apart. I favor the concept of "integration" more, with the goal being coexistence in harmony and fluidity of movement between the various facets of my lived experience while retaining the ability to be authentically present in all the moments.
Balance for me is learning to accept what you cannot change and pressing forward to change what you can that will help to make life better. Whether it is small tasks or great mountains that you are focusing on, seeking better for others and for yourself keeps you alive and well physically, mentally and spiritually. Most of my life was hampered by extreme ill health. Eight years ago I was fortunate enough to be the recipient of a transplanted liver. When I was but a child I had to have a blood transfusion which was laden with the hepatitis C virus and that was the downfall of my liver. Since my transplant I have lived life to the fullest in ways that have benefitted my family and others. I have flower gardens that are breathtaking, Love it when my neighbors stop and comment on how much they love my yard when passing by on their walks. I also volunteer in nursing and assisted living homes. It is amazing what music will do for those who have stepped into a deep fog memory wise. They might not know their name or where they are at, but you start a song they are familiar with and they can sing every word. I love taking them back into a place they know. It lifts their spirits and mine. I am 71 years old (please do not tell anyone as most folk have no idea) and I am having the time of my life.
Balance, as I age I find balance to be somewhat two fold. When I was younger I couldn’t sit still for long. I was always going, doing, being. This past year has provided insight in so many ways as how out balance I was. As I have gotten older, now 58, I have realized staying “busy” really needs to have a meaning/purpose, not just because I can. It is way too easy to have an unbalanced work and life, let alone body balance. Having had vertigo in 2019 and a few spells since, I know how just a slight imbalance can cause havoc with my entire body. Which of course can lead to an imbalance in work and life. I know 58 is not that old and I try not to take for granted where I am in life, yet it all can be so hard to balance every day. It seems this past year should be a reminder of taking time to balance is not something to feel shameful for, it’s a requirement! Thank you Dan for the thoughtful reminder.
Balance for me must be a combination of concern for the problems we face as a society and world-environment, justice, truth, fairness—the “we” part of our existence- and my need for enough peace and serenity to gear up to meet these challenges. I find that too much toxic “news” throws me off kilter and I am of no use to my spouse, myself, or anyone else for a day or two. It is then that I address the “ me” part of my existence. I find my balance by looking at our lake, garden, mountains, or by doing my beadwork, and just slowing down my breathing and being grateful. During the last administration, I found balance by reading a daily chapter from What Unites Us. Thank you, Mr. Rather, for that steady help.
Thanks Dan for this important reminder. In today's busy world many people are living a very unbalanced life. I personally have been striving to live a balanced life since January 1981 when I embarked on a Recovery and Spiritual Journey. As a Psychotherapist, Counselor and Coach since 1984 I have helped thousands of others develop a balanced living plan. I turn 71 in a couple of weeks and know I need to continue to practice what I teach in order to have a better quality of life. I believe it is crucial to develop a plan in four quadrants: Biological, Psychological, Social/Family and Spiritual. If I fall short in any of the four areas my quality of life diminishes. Thanks again and I love the work you're doing now Dan and I love your new book "What Unties Us" and recommend it to anyone who will listen to me.
I have devoted 27 years of my life to being a leader of a nonprofit serving people with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities. For the most part I loved every minute of the work but the past year and half has been overwhelming with the national issues you mentioned above coupled with keeping individuals we serve and staff safe it’s been exhausting. Also about six weeks ago I lost my mom. A wonderful person that I spoke to each and every day. I been reflecting on my time as I heard a speaker say once our time is the most precious resource because you never get it back. I did quick math to realize a low end estimate is I have given my employer 5 years of free time. It is something I am working on ending quickly as I even now wonder if it was appreciated, valued, or even noticed. I am going to work with our team to spread out administrative support so we all can enjoy life.
I think we have allowed our lives to be taken over by the needs, lack of support, and our desire to help. I am going to be the leader saying what goes, what waits, how do we get our lives back to balance. We do not have to be constantly doing something. It’s okay to take 20 minutes to do nothing everyday.
As for the host of issues facing our country we need to look at each other with empathy. Pause and listen then talk about the problems in a constructive fashion. Call out the unacceptable things every one deserves Kindness and respect.
This has been a concern for me all of my life. I don’t balance well. I’m intense and concern about all I am involved and all that surrounds me. I believe we are here for a purpose. To help and serve others. I pray always for people, leaders, our country and all countries. I don’t apologize for it. It consumes me too often. So many needs and not enough of us available or willing to serve and love one another. This forum of Steady is providing me another perspective and hopefully here is where I will find some similitude of balance.
I have been retired one year today. Yay me!!! I was a manager for the Postal Service and the job had become so invasive into my personal time. I was forced to stop teaching classes on Sunday Morning at my church due to scheduled or impromptu meetings even on Sunday. My colleagues and myself were tethered to work 24/7/365 via our phones and laptops. For me to find a balance was a challenge. I became a better delegator, I worked at being more efficient in my tasks by using the Eisenhower Principle of is it important now. Each day during my devotional time I am so grateful for this time in our lives. When we are in the midst of the wars of wage earning and the stress is overwhelming it is hard to see balance. I look back over my life and see a balance now and realize how blessed my wife and I are. I'm so thankful for this great nation where we live and all it offers. We all need to remain vigilant in preserving our great Republic for we have seen how fragile it truly is. May each of you see a blessing in your world today.
I "retired" from corporate America in 2010, but when I retired, I brought with me a unique set of skills that continue to be marketable. Balance to me is having sufficient work to engage my mind, help mentor those who are taking my place within corporations, and stay current in my field. Having control of my schedule allows me the time to engage in family, activities and hobbies of interest. I truly don't care to give up either work or time away from work. Both contribute to my life's joy.
I attempt to attain balance by eating well , meaning organic foods, little meats and dairy, lots of fresh air and exercise! Less going along with the norms like just trying new things and new places, camping, swimming meeting new people and caring about what happens to our democracy! I avoid those who embrace racism and sexism as well as patriarchal thinking ! Thanks for this opportunity to express our thoughts everything really matters conscious efforts can positively affect our lives ! I admire people who organize others for the greater good and truth tellers who value all human kind !
I spent my pre retirement time over thinking everything, was I enough? Push for the next promotion. Buy the newest whatever. Enough. I am living the remainder of my life seeking the balance you are writing of. I find that true happiness stems from contentment, frequent deep breaths and service to others. We are part of a greater purpose which does not include the rat race of the younger years. I am committed to the true value of what time I have left, That is where balance will be found.
What a timely topic! We are currently struggling with finding balance between caring for our 93 year old mothers and moving on to enjoy our retirement. We were halfway through a planned downsize and move to another state when both our moms went into crisis (largely due to anxiety and isolation caused by the pandemic). We are currently trying to arrange home health care so that on our days off we can actually enjoy ourselves instead of caregiving. If and when we find the balance well let you know!
Don't believe I really ever knew balance when going through college or working. Sure, I had some good times but mostly was all-consumed with the important big things of earning a living and saving for retirement. I've lived fairly frugally.
Now retired, I do spend more time in reading other than escapist novels, especially now more news, politics and history. And I go to exercise classes but know I need more. I may rely too much on television in the evenings.
I appreciate my husband more. I sometimes wish I had cultivated more friends or activities. Or are those others' expectations?
Sometimes I wish I hadn't been so fearful of likely failing at motherhood that I missed out on a large part of life because of too stressful a childhood.
And I enjoy looking out my dining/desk area to watch birds and squirrels and listen to their sounds.
But I don't know that any balance exists or that I even try for such.
Balance? HA! For each of us it can be very different. Balance for me is operating my life according to my source of inspiration: The Bible, Yahweh's Word. I have a sign out front: "Forwarding All Issues To Heaven" I do my best to keep my garden growing. And, this helps to keep me going! I post thoughts and advice purblicly on "Me We." The Bible states that the good that we do lives after us. HalleluYah! Hebrew: "Praise ye Yah!"
Thank you for these thought-provoking, important questions, Mr. Rather.
How do you define balance?
Taking care of oneself so that you are able to care for others. I noticed that whenever I am least happy, I am doting too much on my own sadnesses, problems, queries. Perspective is to try your best to consider the lives of others by reminding yourself your are but a tiny particle among the entire fabric of those around you.
How do you seek it in your life?
I've learned more in the past 5 years of my now 69 years on earth about politics and American history, because we must as Americans no longer be complicit. We are facing a grave danger to our democracy. It has been daunting, and eye-opening. It often brings me to tears, writing my senators, marching, reading Heather Cox Richardson every day, and engaging. Having been a professional musician most of my adult life, I find practicing very meditative, it transports me away from the news. I enjoy studying how best to create the beauty through my instrument to share with others. What was the composer feeling, thinking, conveying? I particularly love Bach and think his music covers the broadest spectrum of emotion, sadness, jubilation, spirituality and wonder. It could cover many lifetimes and only touch the surface. This is my balance. I think of how fortunate these talented composers were to express their stress through art and beauty, a release. Nature heals and brings perspective. I live in NYC, but one only needs to go to the parks to feel connected to such beauty and creation.
And how do you see it in the lives of others?
I see beauty in those that serve others. An Oratory priest at St. Boniface in Brooklyn, NY trying to deliver a relevant message to reach out to everyone in the community; a marcher that wants change and takes time away from their own life to speak it; a public servant fighting selflessly for our rights as Americans; a good listener who you feel "minded" with. The musician who gives his music for the love of the music and not oneself.
The struggle of balance is not easy, but just being able to convey my thoughts here diverted me from my sadness and worry for our country's democracy. So, thank you Mr. Rather and thanks to all others who are sharing here.
I have found balance, finally, since I retired in February. After years of “do more with less” and “work smarter, not harder” platitudes from my corporate job plus their incessant HR pep talks of wanting us to have a “work/life balance”, I realized that as long as I helped them continue to chase the Wall Street numbers, it would never happen. So now I take my dog for walks on the beach, I take online fitness classes, I join my friends for zoom meetings and now, actually get togethers. And now, I finally feel balance.
When I can experience struggle and yet find joy and peace in the day-I am in balance. For me, I find it outside. I live in MT and walk the trails behind my house-seeing the beauty, the power and the vastness connects and grounds me. It gets me outside of my head. Balance is always changing and a pendulum must complete its swing from side to side.
I was the gal that worked 55 to 80 hours per week, all week including the weekend for 17 years. In other functions for a total of 25 years. When the conglomerate I worked for decided to scale down, I was one of 700 that lost jobs in one day. I had to sit in the parking lot for a time before I could drive the 20 miles home. I honestly did not know what to do next. I was an aging worker. I got a new job fairly quickly and it was similar work, much better environment. That joy only lasted 18 months. Now, truly no jobs to be had in my field. I went back to school, graduated, got a degree. I immediately started on another degree, finished, passed the state boards again. Got a third certification and began looking for work. I loved being a student. I was also one of the oldest in each class. I got part time work, and since this was not enough income, took a second job. This was ok and lasted for a few years. Suddenly a car accident from 30+ years ago makes itself known in an ugly fashion. Mind you that I was raised in a town of 700 people and had a very strong work ethics. Long story short, injuries and pain forced me to retire at age 60. I have learned to do what I can and do a few more things the next day. I sit and nap with my Basenji dogs. My husband and I have lovely dinners....everyday
I have started growing berries, what a way to work!!! I love being retired. I also only take in news in manageable bites. I only get my news from you, Mr. Rather, Mother Jones and CNN.
I'm not sure balance is the correct term for what I look for. I spent 35 years working in the forests of the Pacific Northwest before I retired. The forest didn't care about me. I had to learn to care about the forest in spite of that. It always had a way of introducing new obstacles to me. I would get frustrated at times but more importantly I learned that frustration was the biggest obstacle I faced. I worked at being open to learning something new every day out there. I learned that it was my responsibility to share what I knew with those that came after me so that they could pass it along and find new ways to be frustrated. Thus, creating a knew learning cycle. It isn't/wasn't a cynical view of the work. Just a reality check I try hard to apply every day. When I feel frustrated by something now I remind myself it's a choice and then go weed the garden. No better satisfaction than a weed free veggie garden.
I haven't read all comments about balance, so pardon me if I am repetitious.
I believe that so little is black and white, or right and wrong, hence, simple. Every day in our life involves decisions, as does every period in history, and to make decisions one has to BALANCE a number of factors. That may involve listing pros and cons, or on a continuum, deciding the importance of the question, or taking a survey, or... And in using whatever method, we're really looking for the best way( if not perfect) to proceed. Perfect (?) balance. Or as close as is possible.
At age 90, the past year has taught me that we all need more balance in our lives. With that in mind, I moved into an independent living apartment, selling my home and freeing me from all the issues of upkeep. And although I still volunteer in some nonprofits, I have also drawn back and have allotted more time for leisure pursuits. Too often, we get caught in the everyday whirlwind and the need to perform, and let life pass by. And forget what others have struggled through to maintain balance in their lives. Thank you for your comments and for the sensitivity you show.
When I was younger during the 1980s which was the US "cold war" or peacetime after the 1960s -1970s civil rights movement. As a young up and coming I found work, college, and a nice apartment in a nice area. I continued college after my daughter was born and got a Bachelor of Science degree all while trying to balance motherhood, work, and life in general. Now times have changed and we are back in the 1960s-70s, but with technology added, and it is now neighbor against neighbor with racism added to all. Finding it difficult to balance. Especially because at age 62 I am not tech savvy, and thought we had overcome racism long ago.
Wow. This is the struggle. The more I keep up with the horrors of the news the more difficult it is to avoid anxiety. I'm an artist so I am in the studio daily painting. I don't listen to political podcasts while I'm working. I'm an avid gardener working on establishing some new landscaping. My 2 dogs keep me in the moment, demanding their walks and playtime. My husband is a FF/paramedic, so his job is stressful. He maintains balance by golfing several times a week. But I feel guilty that I'm not doing enough to help maintain our Democracy etc etc. I feel depleted of adrenalin. So tired of being appalled.
Balance was always a struggle for me in the 41 years I taught public elementary school. Labor laws do not cover the hours spent on the job by school teachers. We sign a contract to complete all duties assigned in the year covered and receive a certain annual salary and, if it takes 24 hours-seven days a week to do it, we are required to get it done. No overtime pay, no limit to the number of hours worked or requirements for breaks after a certain amount of work, unless it is required by state law or school board policy and teachers band together to enforce it. I made the sacrifice of not having biological children of my own because of the demands of the job. I do not call overworking someone to the point that they do not have time and energy left to have children work balance.
I am a simple person (with complicated undertones). If I am fulfilled with all the things I want in life, I have found balance. I will die with a list if things I want to do, learn and share, but my goals are reasonable, my needs few and I consider all else is luxury.
Truly experiencing and being present in the moments of your life is what matters. I think often people are caught up in the rush to do “everything,” but don’t fully appreciate it. That is a hollow experience.
That being said, I had no children; my time is not as divided as many others. I also only owned a television for two years of my life and found it a time/life killer.
I keep stress at bay by cycling, swimming and backpacking it away. I tend to solve all the world’s problems while doing these activities. Volunteering to help others feeds my soul. A body and mind stretch at the end of these activities keeps the thoughts clear.
Fulfillment = balance
How do you define balance?
For me, balance equates a healthy amount of work, pleasure, and relaxation. I work multiple jobs, and often 7-days a week. Fortunately, I find a fair amount of pleasure in the various jobs I do. But like many Americans, I have no real option of taking more than a day or so off.
How do you seek it in your life?
My goal is to be fully present, whether working, relaxing, or doing something that pleases me. I also try to be aware of those times when I need to take a step back, and to do so. And to not feel guilty about doing so -- I think this is a huge issue for a lot of people.
And how do you see it in the lives of others?
In addition to being an news editor for an independent media source that serves a minority religious community, I also work in a retail environment that serves the same community. I spend a lot of my time in conversion with people who are struggling to find that balance in their lives. I interact with a lot of people who are striving to find balance in their lives, and are looking for advice and tools to accomplish this goal.
The pandemic has left a lot of people asking themselves serious questions about how they are spending their time and seeking a more meaningful and deep experience in how they live their lives.
Balance... the one I remember and I still have was the one I acquired when I was a toddler...I found balance and started walking... since then I have fallen: physically, financially, and emotionally at different times during my lifetime. Academically, I just quit at one time but, I made it back and conquered. Graduating Cum Laude and obtaining my MA in Arts with a 3.88 GPA. Definitively I understood that without formal education I was not going to be able to obtain that kind of "balance"... to survive and make it happen for me and my family. I have learned some from it, yet, I find myself tumbling, dropping, plummetting again, for many reasons, however, this time, the triggers have been out of my control. The last President hurt and continues provoking doubt leading to distrust and mistrust increasing mental unbalance/instability in me and others. Yes, it is being hard to find balance, yet, I am centering more on being appreciative of my upbringing, my ancestry, my curiosity, and maybe at some level my reasoning and intelligence. I understand that not all of us have the same opportunity to find control to deal with and continue living with the uncertainties that some leaders insist on promoting I have found strength coming from within after noticing and making an effort to "learn" from each experience. I try to help others as much as I can by making them smile, giving them support ( time and conversations), and volunteering as much as I can... that makes me ( and I hope them) happier and I can find more "balance". (Sorry, English is my third language...I hope you got this!)
I am a retired teacher (proudly, a middle school teacher who taught math...double whammy some would say...but how I loved it). I find balance oddly enough with one of the "rules" of this group, which emphasizes to "agree to disagree without being disagreeable", something I had a lot of experience with in middle-schoolers. Unfortunately during some of the last four years or so, I felt pushed aside by some family members who I never before realized I disagreed with because it never seemed to matter before, even with them. Then it did, more with them than with me. I found balance by doing what I did with the kids...looking past the disagreements that there apparently were. They are coming around more slowly than I am right now, but my door is wide open and always will be for them. I am very happy with that and would like to see more of that in our country. I am optimistic, and along with retirement, content...along with my gardening, volunteering, and very good friends.
All the comments I've read have reflected the reality of our lives: busy, busy, busy. I turned 70 this year and I was stunned to realize how quickly it happened! (Nothing new, I know!) And then I thought about all I have done so far, places I've been and lived, people who have impacted me and what kept coming back were the people in my life. The connections with other folks trying to live their lives fulfilled causes me to reflect on my own life. I've kept a journal since my 40's and although I write sporadically it offers me a time to look at myself and see where I'm off balance and where I am "Steady." The more I spend time in nature, in my garden, walking the beach, walks in nature trails, the more balanced I become. There are so many beautiful ways for all of us to find balance: music, reading, exercise, meditation etc. The incredible blessedness of creation offers everyone a chance to find that moment when suddenly it makes sense and one can breath deeply and smile within.
When I was a kid, Dandelions in the Desert were Flowers for Mother's Day, and we ate fresh sunflower seeds. One thing I never got was why we had to rake the sand. Every damn weekend it was raking sand... When I was 33, I was mowing my yard in NE, always careful to mow around some beautiful blue flowers. My neighbor appeared and said, "You know those are weeds, right?" He had such a neat sparkle in his eye. In an instant it ALL came together: In NE, flowers tell a different story. In NE, we mow the lawn. In the Desert, we rake the sand. In that moment, my neighbor and I BOTH found Balance. 🤗😇
For me it's always a delicate balance between antagonizing the people behaving as bullies and not antagonizing the people who don't deserve that kind of treatment. I have learned in the course of a strange and unpleasant life that if you don't stand up to bullies, their behavior worsens, but that it's not easy to tell the difference between who deserves it and who doesn't. This has been the method I had to learn the hard way. I used to be kind to all repeatedly despite the hurt I received, until a few near-death experiences. I am not that way anymore.
For me, balance is being in touch with the good in life. It has been difficult in the face of ether seemingly endless hate spewed by people in government and elsewhere. I turn off the news and turn to nature. Trees, flowers, birds, deer in the yard. Things that Grace creation and should be appreciated. This week I’m at the gulf and I have coffee on the beach each morning and meditate on the wonders around me. Family is with me and that is pure joy. We don’t have to go far to find balance. It really is right outside our doors and in our hearts.
Balance in daily life for me is trying to find the joy in each aspect of daily living while trying to bring a little happiness or laughter into the life of each person that I encounter. If I can get even a small chuckle, I feel good.
My 4 year old grandson finds balance somewhere between racing me across the back yard and finding "cozy" times to snuggle up and read books. He has a good balance and can move fast and slow down. Maybe we should all approach the balance with the enthusiasm of a 4 year old.
Balance in our lives means defining good and evil or right and wrong. These words or actions cut through the hearts of all of us. We are all born seeking a balance of love and hope for a brighter future. We who are fortunate have parents whi embody this. And those like me never did. But yet you seek a balance in your environment and no matter how much difficulty you encounter you seek the light. You seek hope and have this faith in overcoming. And what you seek, the balance, in your children's lives gives you the fortitude to seek a balance for them a balance of love of hope of faith in humanity. And balance, well, the whole world seeks this. And yet we live in a turmoil world. What to do? Continue to love to show peace even in the mist of horrid pain. Because love forgives all. Remember evil is tbe absence of love.
I have learned alot about balance in the last few years. I am retired and found myself adrift, tending to the needs of my mother, affected by dementia until her passing. Dealing with the death of my husband shortly after retiring. I struggled to maintain a balance in life. The tumultuous four years of a presidency that left me, my loved ones and countless friends off balance. As if we had stepped into an alternate state of being. And then the pandemic. What I learned was that I can not let the news of our state of politics or state of the situation with the pandemic absorb me. I needed to find balance. I could not watch news and talk about news and eat and drink and sleep news. I purposefully chose 1 time of day and 1 local and nationwide broadcast of the news to get my news. I read and take walks and spend time with my children and grandchildren and friends. I cut back on using technology and began writing a journal. All of these things create a more balanced mental and emotional state...for me.
I have found balance this last tumultuous year ( and continue to do so) by enjoying nature and most of all animals. My husband and I have continued our zoo membership even though our kids are grown and no grandkids yet I can’t tell you how many times we have walked the Phoenix zoo. We feel as if the animals are our friends. In addition we have enjoyed biking to our favorite duck filled pond and have befriended the ducks. They walk up to us to be fed the special duck blend food we bought them!! This has all kept me sane!
Balance? No phone calls or texts between 8 pm and 8 am - that is time for ourselves.
As an expat living in New Zealand, I feel so fortunate the pandemic is contained at our border. However there is the constant stress of isolation from elderly parents in the US. I take comfort in nature.. in the waves crashing on a quiet winter beach and the snow on the mountain. Take time to just breathe!
I am so thankful for you, Dan. Thank you for being a light for us to see when it’s dark. I always know that I can trust what you write to be truthful and offer perspective. Balance? I’m not sure that I have that. I just try to be grateful for and focus on the important things in life and do what I can to help others.
I try to have balance in my life with these 5 action words: Love, Grow, Pursue, Sustain, Renew.
Love people, make friends, gather together, share life.
Grow in what you know, what you can do, and the experiences and perspectives you have.
Pursue something meaningful that improves some small part of the world.
Sustain yourself by moderating and simplifying. Less is more. Quality beats quantity.
Renew yourself with rest, exercise, celebration, retreat and reflection.
Excellent article Dan!
I don't know if I can define this suitable to others, but, I'll give it a shot.
How do you define balance?
Balance to me is seeing the sun come up in the morning after a good night's sleep. Feeling good, and being able to say at the end of the day, I accomplished something that day. Help someone with something, help an organization in need. Something.
How do you seek it in your life?
Living each day as the Good Lord expects me to live it. Not letting anything get to me, mentally. Handling situiations which arise swiftly, fairly, and abruptly, then moving on. Not dwelling on something that can't be fixed,or resolved, I guess is a better word.
And how do you see it in the lives of others?
I look at all people equally. I was raised that way. No matter the race, creed, color, nation of origin. ALL people are created equal. It's a lot better to treat them as such.
If everyone treated others in this manner, this would be a lot better world. I feel, this is the key to having balance in yourself, others, and the world.
I have spent much of my 76 years in working with and for social justice in varies venues. I easily now get caught up in the struggles we are facing as a nation. I watch the news and read the stories (and the comments sections) to try to keep up. Sometimes it is hard. Sometimes I just want it to go away, for peace and justice to prevail. To get the whole mess out of my head. As I am disabled, running away to the mountains or seashore isn't an option. But being still is. Turning off the computer and TV is an option and leads me to being still. I turn to my garden and find a way to completely empty my mind. I like playing in the dirt. I like seeing my corn inching toward the height of an elephant's eye and to fresh corn on the cob. Or strawberries, or tomatoes, or patty pan squash. And when I am comfortably empty of all thoughts, I can return to the struggles and stories, and comments until the next time I am in need of being still.
As with a segway, you have to lean into progress. Balance is nowhere without bias.
I do try to achieve balance a lot of the time, although being human I sometimes overbalance. What a petty thing for which to criticize Ms Harris. Memorial Day for me is not only a solemn remembrance of the many deaths I have witnessed and those that went before, but also to try to wash some peacefulness over life, and take the time to appreciate some of nature I don't forget the gravity of what things belong on the front burner, but maybe just try to quiet them every now and again.. There's my balance for this last weekend, and others to come.
balance is that day the waters are calm
I've had an increasingly hard time with the notion of "balance" in these discussions because, like a marble at the apex of a pyramid, it's too precarious to be practical. One slight deflection of the center off perfect perpendicularity and the whole things falls apart. I favor the concept of "integration" more, with the goal being coexistence in harmony and fluidity of movement between the various facets of my lived experience while retaining the ability to be authentically present in all the moments.
Balance for me is learning to accept what you cannot change and pressing forward to change what you can that will help to make life better. Whether it is small tasks or great mountains that you are focusing on, seeking better for others and for yourself keeps you alive and well physically, mentally and spiritually. Most of my life was hampered by extreme ill health. Eight years ago I was fortunate enough to be the recipient of a transplanted liver. When I was but a child I had to have a blood transfusion which was laden with the hepatitis C virus and that was the downfall of my liver. Since my transplant I have lived life to the fullest in ways that have benefitted my family and others. I have flower gardens that are breathtaking, Love it when my neighbors stop and comment on how much they love my yard when passing by on their walks. I also volunteer in nursing and assisted living homes. It is amazing what music will do for those who have stepped into a deep fog memory wise. They might not know their name or where they are at, but you start a song they are familiar with and they can sing every word. I love taking them back into a place they know. It lifts their spirits and mine. I am 71 years old (please do not tell anyone as most folk have no idea) and I am having the time of my life.
Balance, as I age I find balance to be somewhat two fold. When I was younger I couldn’t sit still for long. I was always going, doing, being. This past year has provided insight in so many ways as how out balance I was. As I have gotten older, now 58, I have realized staying “busy” really needs to have a meaning/purpose, not just because I can. It is way too easy to have an unbalanced work and life, let alone body balance. Having had vertigo in 2019 and a few spells since, I know how just a slight imbalance can cause havoc with my entire body. Which of course can lead to an imbalance in work and life. I know 58 is not that old and I try not to take for granted where I am in life, yet it all can be so hard to balance every day. It seems this past year should be a reminder of taking time to balance is not something to feel shameful for, it’s a requirement! Thank you Dan for the thoughtful reminder.
What did the troops fight for if not the freedom to enjoy long weekends.
Balance for me must be a combination of concern for the problems we face as a society and world-environment, justice, truth, fairness—the “we” part of our existence- and my need for enough peace and serenity to gear up to meet these challenges. I find that too much toxic “news” throws me off kilter and I am of no use to my spouse, myself, or anyone else for a day or two. It is then that I address the “ me” part of my existence. I find my balance by looking at our lake, garden, mountains, or by doing my beadwork, and just slowing down my breathing and being grateful. During the last administration, I found balance by reading a daily chapter from What Unites Us. Thank you, Mr. Rather, for that steady help.
As we MEMORIALIZE the past, let us all think about tne future. We nave to find a balance and welcome hope into our lives.
Thanks Dan for this important reminder. In today's busy world many people are living a very unbalanced life. I personally have been striving to live a balanced life since January 1981 when I embarked on a Recovery and Spiritual Journey. As a Psychotherapist, Counselor and Coach since 1984 I have helped thousands of others develop a balanced living plan. I turn 71 in a couple of weeks and know I need to continue to practice what I teach in order to have a better quality of life. I believe it is crucial to develop a plan in four quadrants: Biological, Psychological, Social/Family and Spiritual. If I fall short in any of the four areas my quality of life diminishes. Thanks again and I love the work you're doing now Dan and I love your new book "What Unties Us" and recommend it to anyone who will listen to me.
Onward & Upward with Hope & Gratitude,
Dr. Stephen F. Grinstead
I have devoted 27 years of my life to being a leader of a nonprofit serving people with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities. For the most part I loved every minute of the work but the past year and half has been overwhelming with the national issues you mentioned above coupled with keeping individuals we serve and staff safe it’s been exhausting. Also about six weeks ago I lost my mom. A wonderful person that I spoke to each and every day. I been reflecting on my time as I heard a speaker say once our time is the most precious resource because you never get it back. I did quick math to realize a low end estimate is I have given my employer 5 years of free time. It is something I am working on ending quickly as I even now wonder if it was appreciated, valued, or even noticed. I am going to work with our team to spread out administrative support so we all can enjoy life.
I think we have allowed our lives to be taken over by the needs, lack of support, and our desire to help. I am going to be the leader saying what goes, what waits, how do we get our lives back to balance. We do not have to be constantly doing something. It’s okay to take 20 minutes to do nothing everyday.
As for the host of issues facing our country we need to look at each other with empathy. Pause and listen then talk about the problems in a constructive fashion. Call out the unacceptable things every one deserves Kindness and respect.
This has been a concern for me all of my life. I don’t balance well. I’m intense and concern about all I am involved and all that surrounds me. I believe we are here for a purpose. To help and serve others. I pray always for people, leaders, our country and all countries. I don’t apologize for it. It consumes me too often. So many needs and not enough of us available or willing to serve and love one another. This forum of Steady is providing me another perspective and hopefully here is where I will find some similitude of balance.
I have been retired one year today. Yay me!!! I was a manager for the Postal Service and the job had become so invasive into my personal time. I was forced to stop teaching classes on Sunday Morning at my church due to scheduled or impromptu meetings even on Sunday. My colleagues and myself were tethered to work 24/7/365 via our phones and laptops. For me to find a balance was a challenge. I became a better delegator, I worked at being more efficient in my tasks by using the Eisenhower Principle of is it important now. Each day during my devotional time I am so grateful for this time in our lives. When we are in the midst of the wars of wage earning and the stress is overwhelming it is hard to see balance. I look back over my life and see a balance now and realize how blessed my wife and I are. I'm so thankful for this great nation where we live and all it offers. We all need to remain vigilant in preserving our great Republic for we have seen how fragile it truly is. May each of you see a blessing in your world today.
I "retired" from corporate America in 2010, but when I retired, I brought with me a unique set of skills that continue to be marketable. Balance to me is having sufficient work to engage my mind, help mentor those who are taking my place within corporations, and stay current in my field. Having control of my schedule allows me the time to engage in family, activities and hobbies of interest. I truly don't care to give up either work or time away from work. Both contribute to my life's joy.
I attempt to attain balance by eating well , meaning organic foods, little meats and dairy, lots of fresh air and exercise! Less going along with the norms like just trying new things and new places, camping, swimming meeting new people and caring about what happens to our democracy! I avoid those who embrace racism and sexism as well as patriarchal thinking ! Thanks for this opportunity to express our thoughts everything really matters conscious efforts can positively affect our lives ! I admire people who organize others for the greater good and truth tellers who value all human kind !
What's balance? :D
I spent my pre retirement time over thinking everything, was I enough? Push for the next promotion. Buy the newest whatever. Enough. I am living the remainder of my life seeking the balance you are writing of. I find that true happiness stems from contentment, frequent deep breaths and service to others. We are part of a greater purpose which does not include the rat race of the younger years. I am committed to the true value of what time I have left, That is where balance will be found.
An emotionally and mentally stable state that helps me to exist in the present moment. NOW!
Nature helps me to see daily to be present. Plants, trees, and birds show me every moment exists to grow, survive and enjoy my existence.
When I worked I knew a better balanced life existed but I chose NOWHERE instead of NOW HERE!🎉🖖🏼
What a timely topic! We are currently struggling with finding balance between caring for our 93 year old mothers and moving on to enjoy our retirement. We were halfway through a planned downsize and move to another state when both our moms went into crisis (largely due to anxiety and isolation caused by the pandemic). We are currently trying to arrange home health care so that on our days off we can actually enjoy ourselves instead of caregiving. If and when we find the balance well let you know!
Don't believe I really ever knew balance when going through college or working. Sure, I had some good times but mostly was all-consumed with the important big things of earning a living and saving for retirement. I've lived fairly frugally.
Now retired, I do spend more time in reading other than escapist novels, especially now more news, politics and history. And I go to exercise classes but know I need more. I may rely too much on television in the evenings.
I appreciate my husband more. I sometimes wish I had cultivated more friends or activities. Or are those others' expectations?
Sometimes I wish I hadn't been so fearful of likely failing at motherhood that I missed out on a large part of life because of too stressful a childhood.
And I enjoy looking out my dining/desk area to watch birds and squirrels and listen to their sounds.
But I don't know that any balance exists or that I even try for such.
Balance? HA! For each of us it can be very different. Balance for me is operating my life according to my source of inspiration: The Bible, Yahweh's Word. I have a sign out front: "Forwarding All Issues To Heaven" I do my best to keep my garden growing. And, this helps to keep me going! I post thoughts and advice purblicly on "Me We." The Bible states that the good that we do lives after us. HalleluYah! Hebrew: "Praise ye Yah!"
Thank you for these thought-provoking, important questions, Mr. Rather.
How do you define balance?
Taking care of oneself so that you are able to care for others. I noticed that whenever I am least happy, I am doting too much on my own sadnesses, problems, queries. Perspective is to try your best to consider the lives of others by reminding yourself your are but a tiny particle among the entire fabric of those around you.
How do you seek it in your life?
I've learned more in the past 5 years of my now 69 years on earth about politics and American history, because we must as Americans no longer be complicit. We are facing a grave danger to our democracy. It has been daunting, and eye-opening. It often brings me to tears, writing my senators, marching, reading Heather Cox Richardson every day, and engaging. Having been a professional musician most of my adult life, I find practicing very meditative, it transports me away from the news. I enjoy studying how best to create the beauty through my instrument to share with others. What was the composer feeling, thinking, conveying? I particularly love Bach and think his music covers the broadest spectrum of emotion, sadness, jubilation, spirituality and wonder. It could cover many lifetimes and only touch the surface. This is my balance. I think of how fortunate these talented composers were to express their stress through art and beauty, a release. Nature heals and brings perspective. I live in NYC, but one only needs to go to the parks to feel connected to such beauty and creation.
And how do you see it in the lives of others?
I see beauty in those that serve others. An Oratory priest at St. Boniface in Brooklyn, NY trying to deliver a relevant message to reach out to everyone in the community; a marcher that wants change and takes time away from their own life to speak it; a public servant fighting selflessly for our rights as Americans; a good listener who you feel "minded" with. The musician who gives his music for the love of the music and not oneself.
The struggle of balance is not easy, but just being able to convey my thoughts here diverted me from my sadness and worry for our country's democracy. So, thank you Mr. Rather and thanks to all others who are sharing here.
I have found balance, finally, since I retired in February. After years of “do more with less” and “work smarter, not harder” platitudes from my corporate job plus their incessant HR pep talks of wanting us to have a “work/life balance”, I realized that as long as I helped them continue to chase the Wall Street numbers, it would never happen. So now I take my dog for walks on the beach, I take online fitness classes, I join my friends for zoom meetings and now, actually get togethers. And now, I finally feel balance.