This week, the United States passed a milestone so grim, so heartbreaking, so unnerving and unnecessary. 500,000. A half million, and likely much more considering that deaths are undoubtedly being undercounted. How does one begin to process the pain? It sweeps across the nation, into every town, and county, and city, and state. It sits at dinner tables, church pews, and city parks. It can be measured in photo albums that will not have new pages, family gatherings that will be missing a familiar laugh or hug, a stuffed animal that will not be cradled.
Death has not struck equally... Along with those working in hospitals, Black and brown Americans, the poor, the elderly, those working in other front-line jobs, as in supermarkets or classrooms which are not supposed to be dangerous occupations, have borne some of the heaviest burdens. And beyond the death, loss tallied in missed memories, schools shuttered, mental health crises, and burden after burden after burden.
This is not over. Case rates have dipped, even plummeted in some places. The vaccine brings hope. But we know we are not at any finish line. We have already been surprised many times already by this pandemic, often for the worse.
So today I would like to create a space for our Steady community to reflect. My midweek question is a series of queries (that don’t have an immediate answer, or a one-size-fits-all answer):
How can we begin to memorialize the loss?
How do we honor our grief?
How do we never forget?
My thoughts and heart turn to another deadly disease, AIDS, and the quilt that became a way to remember vibrant lives and the voids of sadness they left behind. To see pictures of that emotional project still brings a lump in my throat and memories flood back of those I once knew who perished.
AIDS memorial quilt on the National Mall lawn; 20,000 quilts are displayed.
Feel free in the comments today to not only answer the questions but to share the names, and memories, of those who you knew who died from COVID. Perhaps in this space their memory can be a blessing and the burden of pain, when shared, can feel acknowledged.
I have been mulling on this question since you asked it and the only thing I can come up with is “accountability”. Those responsible for allowing this enormous tragedy must be held legally accountable. We need an investigation along the likes of the Nuremberg Trial to hold every last one in a position of authority who not only ignored the science but flaunted their ignorance of it (and still are) and those who deliberately tried to hurt blue states and blue cities by taking PPE that should have gone to all the states and redirecting it elsewhere, mostly to profit off of it (thinking of Jared & his cronies on this one). There are others to list but I don’t want to go off on a tangent fueled by grief here. I’m sure you know what I mean. This cannot be ignored. If it is, it is an insult to all who died and to all who will live the rest of their lives with permanent medical problems from the virus.
I do think actual memorial or memorials should be created at some point. I have no idea what kind though. Not yet.
Wow Dan Rather, you seem to have hit a nerve. I am so pleased that you are doing this. I have a piece in the AIDS quilt, and have to say making it (it was for a friend of a firend) and then viewing it on display was one of the most moving projects I have ever taken part in. It is hard to proess the figures, and the staggering loss suffered.
I'm right with the other commenters on how we need to take political action, and also to plant a grove of trees in each state with plaques under each and statues of the essential workers as living memorials. However, I feel that in order to truly memorialize the loss we have to listen to the people who knew the dead speak about what their fallen loved ones wanted, and then carry their desires into the future; carry out their plans and hopes and dreams for them as best we can. We have to listen to those who were left behind speak for their dead - listen, and act. We can honor their memory in the way they would have wanted us to.
Also, I'm not sure this is a good way to memorialize, but it's pretty important to show absolutely no mercy or sympathy to the people who continue to kill and infect innocent souls without a shred of remorse. I'm not sure which is worse at this point: the Typhoid Marys, or the people who complacently tolerate them.
One of the most moving places I have ever been to is the The Wall in Washington commemorating those lost in the Vietnam war. A similar such monument would for all time show the scope of this tragedy for all to remember. Just a thought.
On January 21st All Americans should reflect and remember Covid-19 the good the bad and the lost. There should be memorials all over the Country like 911 but in DC there should be an eternal flame memorial for all those who were lost similar to the one at Arlington for the unknown shoulders not far from the White House so that Our Representatives must pass it everyday and remember what could have been.
The AIDS quilt had a deep impact on me, as when I saw parts of it displayed, I walked in the door and the first thing I saw was a panel for my friend Bruce, who died of AIDS.
However there already is a COVId quilt in the works, started by a young schoolgirl in Los Angeles. https://covidquilt2020.com/
Last May I lost my dearest life-long best friend 80 years old with underlying diabetes. Last month his 59-year-old son's wife a nurse contracted Covid and passed it on to him. He too like his Dad had diabetes. He was a healthy healthy man who no one would ever believe would be at risk especially his wife and family. I can't even begin to fathom the pain his dear wife must now endure.
My thoughts in honoring all those we all have lost would be a quilt project, and perhaps two years from the start of this pandemic a million or more march on Washington to honor, and demand a complete overhaul of our health care, insurance, emergency response, and pharmaceutical systems.
I imagine several different memorial sites around the country in many different forms; federal, state and local contributions as desired. I have not been impacted by loss of loved ones because of the 2020 Covid-19 world pandemic... learning of so much lost life through the media, local or nationally, feels serial... It feels like I am in the "Truman Show"
I love the idea of a memorial for our lost friends, family and neighbors. I will volunteer my design services for this project if it a serious consideration of Dan's and the Steady team. It's my passion to design significant memorials for heroic American veterans and first responders. Check out the Anthem Veterans Memorial, my first design project. So- feel free to send me a note if this is anything being discussed, I'd be honored. I'm IN for whatever it takes to memorialize the innocent victims of COVID-19.
Along with the 500,000 who have died we also need to remember those who died because of these deaths. Let me explain. For everyone one who died, there were family, friends, coworkers, classmates who also hurt. Some are physically dying of broken hearts. Some have seen families die because the matriarch or patriarch has died and that person isn't there to hold everyone together. There are friendships that are now dead because some one who as always there is now gone. Schools that have had to shut down have lost teachers and students, not only to Covid itself, but to the loneliness of not seeing each other. There are students who feel as though their lives have ended because they can't keep up with their academics sports, clubs and other activities, and tragically some have taken their own lives. We as a country need to remember all of these as well.
John Donne sums up this milestone for me, I lost my baby sister to it, I am an RN who caught it and had recurring symptoms and feel the loss of all. his poem No Man is an island sums it up quite well.
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were:
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
NO MORE physical, public memorials! Instead, an ALL-OUT, ALL MEDIA, every available form of brief education of the absolute necessity of the proper wearing of masks by everyone, whether yet vaccinated or not, and of taking the vaccine injections, led by all levels of government, churches, meeting places, businesses and corporations! The ignorance of so much of our populace is unwarranted!
Our people should never trivialize all the deaths and ruination to lives from the pandemic. We had the wrong leadership at the time this broke out in our country. I hope people in our country never forget how the outbreak of this VERY serious pandemic was handled by the highest office in the land. That administration is the cause for how severely this pandemic hit this country. Shame should be on that administration and we should never have to experience leadership like that ever again. Everyday that passes I think of how lucky we are in our own household for not being touched by this horrific germ and that we are still able to live relatively well. God bless the families that have lost their loved ones. My heart bleeds for them and they are all in my prayers.
All good questions but we are still in the middle of this crisis, at least I hope we are. With new variants appearing weekly we still can't be sure the vaccines we have will be sufficient to stem the tide. Thankfully scientists are dealing with this inevitable problem.
For now all we have in common is the number of deaths. I would like to see a "ticker' counting them off displayed in the masthead of papers, in the chyrons of news casts, in every commercial break, on all government websites. This idea is a steal from Republicans who used this technique to advertise the national debt.
To honor the grief of the survivors of lost ones perhaps something akin to the Vietnam Memorial in Washington D.C. which could also serve as a way to never forget.
Something needs to be done to keep the detractors and deniers from burying this global disaster in the dustbin of history.
The photo of the quilt resonated deeply with me as I was one of the white-dressed volunteers who laid out and attended to it. Thousands of hearts were soothed that day, but that virus continues to devastate around the world. Can the soothing of COVID-wracked hearts and souls be turn into needed action? I think, yes. Never in the future, anywhere in the world, should people be without the basic PPE they need. As a memorial, let’s see a nationwide commitment of business, clergy, non-profits, and governments to establish a PPE Bank supplying all, forever.
The medical miracles our age has given us are not distributed evenly, nor fairly. How we memorialize our loss depends upon us. The best of us, once we recover enough from the immediate loss, will find a service or cause to which we can work in memory of those we've lost.
It has helped some that our government has started pausing to just recognize that these are people and that it’s a true loss, not a fake news number. I’ve watched the numbers. I remember when we hit 100,000 and when we hit 200,000. Each milestone has been horrendous. However, this time, THIS milestone, includes my Momma. She was 81, in good shape, and got COVID. She was in the hospital, as was my Dad. They had both had a good day and were even getting up and going to the bathroom on their own. That was around 6:00 PM. At 10:00 she started struggling to get her breath and just after midnight, January 29, she passed. It shouldn’t have happened. It didn’t HAVE to happen. COVID sucks.
Mr. Rather, Try reading Rudyard Kipling’s The Question with an interpretation of individual COVID-19 response rather than our involvement in WWI. Before we can memorialize such a loss, first we must agree that it was real, and that we had a hand in the severity of the course.
The thousands of flags placed at the Washington Monument are an awe inspiring tribute to each and every beautiful soul we have lost to this horrendous pandemic. No better way to honor our grief than to ensure this display is permanent. Composition of a coffe table book would be appropriate so we never forget. As with all our history, good and bad, these individuals who paid the ultimate price during this ordeal should go down in our history and never be forgotten. Dying alone, beyond words.
I first saw your questions at 7:20 am this morning, it is now 4 pm, and I have been pondering about them all day. I was born in post WW2 England in 1949, and moved to the US in 1971. We face many viral infections in a life-time, often several times. It is why there are laws to require vaccinations, or other solutions, to prevent deadly epidemics like we have today. Today we have a pandemic (global situation) from the rapid transmission of a never seen before virus. Due to the novelty of the virus it feels as though we are always a step behind; it is quite remarkable that we have come so far. Due to an abundance of care no-one in our family has contracted Covid. Many in our global family have biological backgrounds and understand the nature of viruses; they also care for their fellow man and follow rules for the better of the community.
I have no-one to commemorate but I would like to see a memorial garden in each state that includes names engraved of each person who died before we were able to control the virus. I think Covid will be with us for a long time so space will be needed for future deaths. Ideally each state would have a competition for the garden design that uses native plants, benches, and shade. Families could be offered ways to memorialize within the garden. Each state's garden would become part of the National Covid Memorial Garden. The US garden system could become part of an international memorial garden.
Grief is such a personal thing -- I hope that no-cost counseling will be made available with federal funds.
I was born in 1949 when the horrors of WW2 were still being felt in England. We were told to never forget or let IT happen again. Those who have lost loved ones due to Covid will never forget so how about the rest of us. I am a biologist who taught high school biology; I have lived from the discovery of the structure of DNA that explains it's replication to today when we have developed mRNA vaccines. My students hopefully have remembered what we studied and have been able to apply it to the current situation. Teaching activities have been available for a long time about the structure and types of virus, viral replication, disease transmission, etc. I am sure some teachers are developing creative lessons on the current vaccines, immunity, and how Covid transmission has occurred. There should be an outlet for sharing lessons such as these. Public health, body structure and function, and disease should become part of every child's course of study K-12. If that occurs we will never forget.
We have lost two dear friends to COVID from our church family. Both were beloved by many - the first, who died in July, an 81 year old woman who had been a community leader her entire adult life and whose late husband was a mentor to countless students at a local college. The second was a good man who provided security and custodial services to our church, insisting that any task assigned to him be “done right.” He was generous, caring, and cherished by his church family as well as his biological family. No death is “just a number.” The loss of these two individuals will be grieved for a long time.
My father’s best friend died a month ago. He was in his 70’s and was extremely careful. His wife brought Covid home after attending a wedding in another state. It’s maddening and people need to stop being selfish. My parents received their second doses of the vaccine so I feel much better about being around them. I know it’s difficult, but we have to stay the course. Btw, my dad’s friend, Jimmy, was super funny. He will be missed.
I think a living memorial would be an incredibly powerful way to memorialize the lives lost. Family and friends could submit videos or pictures of the loved ones they lost. That media would play on a loop inside the memorial and there would be terminals and screens where you could look up a specific person.
We must continue to use all mitigation we can to save as many lives as possible. Flying flags at half staff is a reminder of those lost to this virus. It’s sad that Florida chooses to memorialize Limbaugh over 500,000+ Americans.
I have been saddened by so much of the pain here. I have read every post and pray for all of you who have lost a loved one or friend to find peace. So many wonderful ideas for memorials, especially gardens and trees and granite with names so we do not forget. Your stories touched me deeply. I am 82 and my family, so far, has been safe. I have lost dear friends but not to Covid.
I pray every day that our President can turn this country around. He has only had one month and already made good things happen. He truly cares for this country and its people. We must all do our part to make sure trumpsters never get elected again.
Memorials are everywhere. In statues, plaques, buildings, monuments, structures, written word. How do we remember over half a million people for such a senseless loss? Will these memorials above suffice? One place they will never be lost or forgotten is to keep their names in our hearts. Tell their lives to our families and friends. Keep their stories alive that way.
While I think it is important to make a memorial to those we have lost and a tribute to front-line medical workers, I'd really like to see something honoring the research teams who developed effective vaccines in record time. They have greatly exceeded expectations and their work will save many lives.
The glue that held my family together died from COVID two weeks ago in Ohio. He was my Uncle Mike Dixon Sr. He was the youngest of 8 siblings. We only had two aunts and him left. Now he has transitioned. He was the one that stood in the gap. When things really got crazy at home he came to the rescue; and my Aunt Gloria who is deceased. They would straighten everything out, make my dad go home with him until he sobered up. He was available when my dad was nowhere to be seen; on business trips or just not able to be located. While my dad was absent he offered to help because my mother did not drive. He was a veteran, super intelligent, with such a big heart. He always showed up and showed out. With the rest of us still here it will be such a void, just remembering important events, I could either look to my left or look back and see him with an encouraging smile.
He rescued us during domestic violence.
One time rescuing my he and my dad both ended up with black eyes. When we even saw his car pull up, he would turn our sad faces into smiles. He always had something positive things to say, provided opportunities for our dysfunctional family to stay together; a pig roast, holiday cookouts, family investing, and mentor to all of us who were closest to his age. He and my Aunt Gloria showed up at my graduation, when my own dad was off somewhere on TDY or whatever. This man had a true spirit. He knew what his purpose was; and he truly fulfilled it. We all are going to miss him and maybe some of the younger folks in my family will take on where he left off. Otherwise our family will drift apart. I’m truly going to miss the many smiles he brought to my face, binging me out of continuous sadness. “I love you Uncle Michael”. Watch over us.
Having had Long Covid since late March, feeling like I was finally getting a big better in May/June, getting reinfected in July, and dealing with continual shortness of breath, chest pains, migraines, eye pain and vision changes, tinnitus, so much fatique and exhaustion. CT scans showing my lungs were 1/2 full of Covid debris, skin turning blueish, in and out of the hospital and super low blood pressure.... having a safe place to discuss symptoms and solutions on FB in the "Long Haul COVID Fighters - Round 2 (Onset of illness AFTER 04/01/20))" group -- I can vouch for the healing that comes knowing you are not alone. Early on in Covid the Dr's were very dismissive. To quote my Dr. "You either get better in two weeks or you are in the hospital on a ventilator. If you are still sick you are the only person in the world that has it longer than two weeks. Now there is awareness. I am better now finally at month 11. Many in my Covid Long Haul group have also noticed that they are finally feeling back to normal at the one year mark. I think people don't like to discuss it, because like me, we are applying for jobs and doing our best to function like normal and not let the world know how many times we have been on the edge of death with this thing. There has been grief involved as well. To feel like your body has aged 20 years, after having NO PRE EXISTING conditions, there is grief for "quality of life" and the ability to go for a run or have the energy to accomplish normal.
I think planting 500,000 trees is an amazing idea. I think there is now an awareness of the many still suffering with long covid a year later. Mount Sinai and other hospitals have long covid clinics now and people are getting better. The vaccine is so important. I would never want anyone to go through the near death trauma I and so many others of ALL AGES have gone through. Our last age call out in my group had so many in their 20's and up through 70's. There is even a group for long covid kids, parents looking for answers for the childrens illness for the last year.
Good news is people are getting better. Having a safe place to listen, encourage, care, support, speak up, help, and give, is excellent. Having a search function for people new to the group to see all the threads addressing the wide swatch of symptoms. God bless the administrators.
I like the idea of groves of trees in states with the number of trees equal to the number dead and a way to post the names and either DOB and DOD or age of each. In addition, I like the idea of a memorial winding its way through the memorials in Washington DC with names and ages also. My question is -- what about all the people with long-haulers who are suffering? How do we honor them? And, perhaps a memorial with statues of all the ESSENTIAL WORKERS -- checkers, doctors, nurses, janitors, med techs, EMTs, ambulance drivers, etc. So many of them died and also have long-haulers....this was a travesty of unimaginable impact and SO UNNECESSARY! We must also somehow recognize scientists and illuminate the lies that lead to this horror inflicted on our nation.
My Dad died at the end of March, 2020. He was 71, he had a heart condition. He was terrified of Covid-19 and wouldn’t go to the hospital when he fell ill with a “bad flu” and vomited for days. He died in a pool of his own blood, in bed. His partner found him in the morning.
We will never know if he had Covid as the medical examiner and his own doctor felt an autopsy wasn’t needed due to his underlying heart condition. There was little to no testing in his city. His state is just beginning to ask its citizens to wear masks, a year later.
We had no funeral. I live one state away and have only seen my remaining family - my mom and sibling - for a totally of one day in the last year as we try to keep Mom safe. I am isolated. I am grieving. I consider our family a casualty of Covid, whether Dad had it or not. It has inflamed my grief and interrupting what few mourning rituals allowed to us in this culture.
It’s so painful to me to see people denying this pandemic, vacationing in Cancun, eating out every week. I despair of ever feeling at peace again.
Thank you, Steady Team and Mr. Rather, for your compassion and the space to share my story.
The AIDS quilt(s) really helped so many of us and moved me to appreciate the massive losses we suffered as those of us were left behind. I think a Covid quilt would serve the same purpose very well.
I like the idea of a way to memorialize all who were lost. I live in rural NE and when 9-11 occurred I had to add up the total loss of several small towns in my area. But this many lost is more than the most recent census of Omaha, think of Omaha just gone, wiped off the map. I think the tree idea rocks, if each state could have a place that can have the trees planted it would be beautiful. It would even be a nice thing to see in Washington DC, even if it was flowers or something. So much sadness.
I don't think most people really comprehend the scope of what 500,000 anything looks like -- unless it affects them personally. If we provide a frame of reference I think it would resonate and be more impactful. 500,000 is the same as if the entire population of Atlanta or New Orleans or Cleveland disappeared PLUS 50,000 more. Or the entire combined populations of Miami and Ann Arbor. Or almost the entire population of Washington, DC, or Tucson, or Denver, or Boston. What would it mean if entire cities could disappear?
I have a tendency to find solace in nature. Watching all of this go on and on and on is hard. Not only has death affected me personally, but that also seems to go on and on and on. I don't know how to say this, but it almost feels like there is no finality, like there is with the death of a loved one during "normal" times. Those deaths are usually part of the cycle of life, and this is so not that! That being said, I can maybe get back to a sense of normalcy when winter ends, and the spring brings new life to the land, the summer birds return the wildlife becomes active,, the grass starts to grow, the land becomes colorful, and the garden is planned. This will be my memorial. I will put life into this summer like never before, as this has been a year like never before, with sadness but also with comfort in mind. Maybe the beginning of a new season of life will somehow bring an end to that feeling of drifting, and to the on and on and on.
In the Native American traditions, specifically Oglala Lakota, a memorial powwow is held a year after the death of a loved one. The family and friends spend a year preparing, gathering funds, gathering blankets and clothes, making items both practical and decorative. Afeast is held, with emphasis on feeding the needle, the elderly and veterans first. Enough food is prepared so that groups in need may take home wateca buckets of leftovers to be consumed at need. The presents are given in the name of the one who died, to honor his/her name and memory. Again, the emphasis is on giving needed items to the poor and the elderly. However, special items (sometimes former possessions of the deceased) are given to friends, caretakers, or people who were important in the person's life. People tell stories of his or her life and share what they carry forward of that person in their own lives. It takes an entire day.
I think what our wonderful new president is doing is helping. Just the way he speaks from his own experience, his own loss. I would like to see either a Facebook site or someplace where those who have lost friends and family can leave a memorial with a picture. Stories need to be told. We have so many broken hearts. Stories need to be aired on news programs every day. We can NEVER forget this. If Trump went to jail for his negligence- that would be golden.
I know of no one in my family or circle of friends who contracted COVis-19 or have died from the disease. I never knew anyone personally who died in Viet Nam either. Or WWII. I have been to the tomb of the unknown solider and cried. And to the Viet Nam memorial and wept over the carnage. But, unfortunately few Americans have the opportunity to be present at these memorials and understand and feel the loss. So as we face a loss of life that surpasses Viet Nam and WWII (and WWI), how can be bring a memorial to a place accessibly to everyone? Perhaps regional memorials like the Viet Nam Wall? Or, as someone earlier in these comments said, a grove of trees somewhere close by different communities? I don't have an answer to my own questions, but I do wish for something, somewhere that more people devastated by this disease's impact on their own lives and the lives of their communities can be visited. And like the AIDS memorial, something that puts a name to each of the half million individual people we have lost.
A memorial garden in every city or town that lost someone to this horrible and altogether unnecessary pandemic, much like 911 memorials that exist all over the country.
Thank you for giving us this safe space to acknowledge Grief. To remember, There is so much Love in these comments. Such a reminder that we are in esssence Love.
I'm loving all the suggestions and expressions of love and grief. It's a wonderful testament to the kindness that is characteristic of many of the folks who live in this country. Thanks to all of you, and, you, Dan Rather, for sharing your compassion, your heart, your goodness.❤️🙏
I lost my father-in-law December 18th to Covid. I’ve been in this family for nearly 40 years, and he was the only father figure I ever had. He was the most perfect Nonno to my children and his other 8 grandchildren. His loss is devastating and he will be greatly and forever missed.
I love the idea of planting a tree for every life lost. I living remembrance for those no longer living. My heart is with all lose who have also lost, some so many.
I have appreciated President Biden's memorial services. They both provided moments of catharsis when I could weep for those we have lost.
Since I worked in healthcare, I vowed from the beginning of my career to always remember that the tests and cultures I was working on were not numbers: they were people who were loved and valued by others. I thought about how I'd want my family members and loved ones to be treated in the hospital or in the lab. I very much appreciate various CNN anchors memorializing some of those who have succumbed, reminding us that these were people who lived actual lives and who are loved and missed. I think it's very important that we not lose sight of that.
I'm sure there will be an eventual physical memorial but I don't know what shape that could or would take. Someone here mentioned a memorial grove of trees. I love that idea and that is something that would not only remind us of the lives lost but also give back to our planet.
I knew a pandemic would eventually hit us and I have warned about it for years; it was only a matter of when. I almost thought it might not happen in my lifetime. Sadly, I was very wrong. I have studied past pandemics. It's still hard to wrap my brain around the fact that decades from now, they will be studying this pandemic. We're always a part of history. But I have never felt it as acutely as I do now. From a scientific perspective, I'll admit to being fascinated by it. But from a human perspective, it is horrifying and heartbreaking. We can't lose the latter. A national memorial will be necessary to remind us of all those we have lost.
I hope we find a National way to honor the nurses who work so hard to help us. I pray people don’t become complicit and think wearing masks isn’t necessary. I pray for healing.
Maybe a memorial flag like the MIA-POW that can fly with our American Flag, something with a GoFundMe account, not utilizing US government funds, that should be spent on fighting this national disaster. Something simple on White background ?and an inspiring symbol, unique and we will remember our friends, family and loved ones
We memorialize by taking action to assure that this deadly fiasco never happens again: 1) a national commission of experts to analyze what went wrong and why and recommend systemic changes to prevent recurrence 2) based upon commission recommendations, new federal laws to implement necessary changes in public health policy 3) seriously upgrade federal-state public health coordination 4) immediately provide whatever funding is necessary to accomplish these goals.
We now have a President who is a Center of Grief for our country in these dark winter days.
(Thank you, Dr. Sanjay Gupta, for that phrase.) The White House Remembrance service was comforting for all of us.
I have been mulling on this question since you asked it and the only thing I can come up with is “accountability”. Those responsible for allowing this enormous tragedy must be held legally accountable. We need an investigation along the likes of the Nuremberg Trial to hold every last one in a position of authority who not only ignored the science but flaunted their ignorance of it (and still are) and those who deliberately tried to hurt blue states and blue cities by taking PPE that should have gone to all the states and redirecting it elsewhere, mostly to profit off of it (thinking of Jared & his cronies on this one). There are others to list but I don’t want to go off on a tangent fueled by grief here. I’m sure you know what I mean. This cannot be ignored. If it is, it is an insult to all who died and to all who will live the rest of their lives with permanent medical problems from the virus.
I do think actual memorial or memorials should be created at some point. I have no idea what kind though. Not yet.
Wow Dan Rather, you seem to have hit a nerve. I am so pleased that you are doing this. I have a piece in the AIDS quilt, and have to say making it (it was for a friend of a firend) and then viewing it on display was one of the most moving projects I have ever taken part in. It is hard to proess the figures, and the staggering loss suffered.
I'm right with the other commenters on how we need to take political action, and also to plant a grove of trees in each state with plaques under each and statues of the essential workers as living memorials. However, I feel that in order to truly memorialize the loss we have to listen to the people who knew the dead speak about what their fallen loved ones wanted, and then carry their desires into the future; carry out their plans and hopes and dreams for them as best we can. We have to listen to those who were left behind speak for their dead - listen, and act. We can honor their memory in the way they would have wanted us to.
Also, I'm not sure this is a good way to memorialize, but it's pretty important to show absolutely no mercy or sympathy to the people who continue to kill and infect innocent souls without a shred of remorse. I'm not sure which is worse at this point: the Typhoid Marys, or the people who complacently tolerate them.
One of the most moving places I have ever been to is the The Wall in Washington commemorating those lost in the Vietnam war. A similar such monument would for all time show the scope of this tragedy for all to remember. Just a thought.
On January 21st All Americans should reflect and remember Covid-19 the good the bad and the lost. There should be memorials all over the Country like 911 but in DC there should be an eternal flame memorial for all those who were lost similar to the one at Arlington for the unknown shoulders not far from the White House so that Our Representatives must pass it everyday and remember what could have been.
The AIDS quilt had a deep impact on me, as when I saw parts of it displayed, I walked in the door and the first thing I saw was a panel for my friend Bruce, who died of AIDS.
However there already is a COVId quilt in the works, started by a young schoolgirl in Los Angeles. https://covidquilt2020.com/
Last May I lost my dearest life-long best friend 80 years old with underlying diabetes. Last month his 59-year-old son's wife a nurse contracted Covid and passed it on to him. He too like his Dad had diabetes. He was a healthy healthy man who no one would ever believe would be at risk especially his wife and family. I can't even begin to fathom the pain his dear wife must now endure.
My thoughts in honoring all those we all have lost would be a quilt project, and perhaps two years from the start of this pandemic a million or more march on Washington to honor, and demand a complete overhaul of our health care, insurance, emergency response, and pharmaceutical systems.
I imagine several different memorial sites around the country in many different forms; federal, state and local contributions as desired. I have not been impacted by loss of loved ones because of the 2020 Covid-19 world pandemic... learning of so much lost life through the media, local or nationally, feels serial... It feels like I am in the "Truman Show"
I love the idea of a memorial for our lost friends, family and neighbors. I will volunteer my design services for this project if it a serious consideration of Dan's and the Steady team. It's my passion to design significant memorials for heroic American veterans and first responders. Check out the Anthem Veterans Memorial, my first design project. So- feel free to send me a note if this is anything being discussed, I'd be honored. I'm IN for whatever it takes to memorialize the innocent victims of COVID-19.
https://www.reshareworthy.com/anthem-veterans-memorial
Along with the 500,000 who have died we also need to remember those who died because of these deaths. Let me explain. For everyone one who died, there were family, friends, coworkers, classmates who also hurt. Some are physically dying of broken hearts. Some have seen families die because the matriarch or patriarch has died and that person isn't there to hold everyone together. There are friendships that are now dead because some one who as always there is now gone. Schools that have had to shut down have lost teachers and students, not only to Covid itself, but to the loneliness of not seeing each other. There are students who feel as though their lives have ended because they can't keep up with their academics sports, clubs and other activities, and tragically some have taken their own lives. We as a country need to remember all of these as well.
John Donne sums up this milestone for me, I lost my baby sister to it, I am an RN who caught it and had recurring symptoms and feel the loss of all. his poem No Man is an island sums it up quite well.
No man is an island,
Entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thy friend's
Or of thine own were:
Any man's death diminishes me,
Because I am involved in mankind,
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls;
It tolls for thee.
John Donne
NO MORE physical, public memorials! Instead, an ALL-OUT, ALL MEDIA, every available form of brief education of the absolute necessity of the proper wearing of masks by everyone, whether yet vaccinated or not, and of taking the vaccine injections, led by all levels of government, churches, meeting places, businesses and corporations! The ignorance of so much of our populace is unwarranted!
Our people should never trivialize all the deaths and ruination to lives from the pandemic. We had the wrong leadership at the time this broke out in our country. I hope people in our country never forget how the outbreak of this VERY serious pandemic was handled by the highest office in the land. That administration is the cause for how severely this pandemic hit this country. Shame should be on that administration and we should never have to experience leadership like that ever again. Everyday that passes I think of how lucky we are in our own household for not being touched by this horrific germ and that we are still able to live relatively well. God bless the families that have lost their loved ones. My heart bleeds for them and they are all in my prayers.
All good questions but we are still in the middle of this crisis, at least I hope we are. With new variants appearing weekly we still can't be sure the vaccines we have will be sufficient to stem the tide. Thankfully scientists are dealing with this inevitable problem.
For now all we have in common is the number of deaths. I would like to see a "ticker' counting them off displayed in the masthead of papers, in the chyrons of news casts, in every commercial break, on all government websites. This idea is a steal from Republicans who used this technique to advertise the national debt.
To honor the grief of the survivors of lost ones perhaps something akin to the Vietnam Memorial in Washington D.C. which could also serve as a way to never forget.
Something needs to be done to keep the detractors and deniers from burying this global disaster in the dustbin of history.
Courage!
The photo of the quilt resonated deeply with me as I was one of the white-dressed volunteers who laid out and attended to it. Thousands of hearts were soothed that day, but that virus continues to devastate around the world. Can the soothing of COVID-wracked hearts and souls be turn into needed action? I think, yes. Never in the future, anywhere in the world, should people be without the basic PPE they need. As a memorial, let’s see a nationwide commitment of business, clergy, non-profits, and governments to establish a PPE Bank supplying all, forever.
The medical miracles our age has given us are not distributed evenly, nor fairly. How we memorialize our loss depends upon us. The best of us, once we recover enough from the immediate loss, will find a service or cause to which we can work in memory of those we've lost.
It has helped some that our government has started pausing to just recognize that these are people and that it’s a true loss, not a fake news number. I’ve watched the numbers. I remember when we hit 100,000 and when we hit 200,000. Each milestone has been horrendous. However, this time, THIS milestone, includes my Momma. She was 81, in good shape, and got COVID. She was in the hospital, as was my Dad. They had both had a good day and were even getting up and going to the bathroom on their own. That was around 6:00 PM. At 10:00 she started struggling to get her breath and just after midnight, January 29, she passed. It shouldn’t have happened. It didn’t HAVE to happen. COVID sucks.
Mr. Rather, Try reading Rudyard Kipling’s The Question with an interpretation of individual COVID-19 response rather than our involvement in WWI. Before we can memorialize such a loss, first we must agree that it was real, and that we had a hand in the severity of the course.
The thousands of flags placed at the Washington Monument are an awe inspiring tribute to each and every beautiful soul we have lost to this horrendous pandemic. No better way to honor our grief than to ensure this display is permanent. Composition of a coffe table book would be appropriate so we never forget. As with all our history, good and bad, these individuals who paid the ultimate price during this ordeal should go down in our history and never be forgotten. Dying alone, beyond words.
I love the idea of planting trees. Excellent idea!
I first saw your questions at 7:20 am this morning, it is now 4 pm, and I have been pondering about them all day. I was born in post WW2 England in 1949, and moved to the US in 1971. We face many viral infections in a life-time, often several times. It is why there are laws to require vaccinations, or other solutions, to prevent deadly epidemics like we have today. Today we have a pandemic (global situation) from the rapid transmission of a never seen before virus. Due to the novelty of the virus it feels as though we are always a step behind; it is quite remarkable that we have come so far. Due to an abundance of care no-one in our family has contracted Covid. Many in our global family have biological backgrounds and understand the nature of viruses; they also care for their fellow man and follow rules for the better of the community.
I have no-one to commemorate but I would like to see a memorial garden in each state that includes names engraved of each person who died before we were able to control the virus. I think Covid will be with us for a long time so space will be needed for future deaths. Ideally each state would have a competition for the garden design that uses native plants, benches, and shade. Families could be offered ways to memorialize within the garden. Each state's garden would become part of the National Covid Memorial Garden. The US garden system could become part of an international memorial garden.
Grief is such a personal thing -- I hope that no-cost counseling will be made available with federal funds.
I was born in 1949 when the horrors of WW2 were still being felt in England. We were told to never forget or let IT happen again. Those who have lost loved ones due to Covid will never forget so how about the rest of us. I am a biologist who taught high school biology; I have lived from the discovery of the structure of DNA that explains it's replication to today when we have developed mRNA vaccines. My students hopefully have remembered what we studied and have been able to apply it to the current situation. Teaching activities have been available for a long time about the structure and types of virus, viral replication, disease transmission, etc. I am sure some teachers are developing creative lessons on the current vaccines, immunity, and how Covid transmission has occurred. There should be an outlet for sharing lessons such as these. Public health, body structure and function, and disease should become part of every child's course of study K-12. If that occurs we will never forget.
We have lost two dear friends to COVID from our church family. Both were beloved by many - the first, who died in July, an 81 year old woman who had been a community leader her entire adult life and whose late husband was a mentor to countless students at a local college. The second was a good man who provided security and custodial services to our church, insisting that any task assigned to him be “done right.” He was generous, caring, and cherished by his church family as well as his biological family. No death is “just a number.” The loss of these two individuals will be grieved for a long time.
This is beyond sad. My heart goes out to all who lost someone
My father’s best friend died a month ago. He was in his 70’s and was extremely careful. His wife brought Covid home after attending a wedding in another state. It’s maddening and people need to stop being selfish. My parents received their second doses of the vaccine so I feel much better about being around them. I know it’s difficult, but we have to stay the course. Btw, my dad’s friend, Jimmy, was super funny. He will be missed.
I think a living memorial would be an incredibly powerful way to memorialize the lives lost. Family and friends could submit videos or pictures of the loved ones they lost. That media would play on a loop inside the memorial and there would be terminals and screens where you could look up a specific person.
We must continue to use all mitigation we can to save as many lives as possible. Flying flags at half staff is a reminder of those lost to this virus. It’s sad that Florida chooses to memorialize Limbaugh over 500,000+ Americans.
I have been saddened by so much of the pain here. I have read every post and pray for all of you who have lost a loved one or friend to find peace. So many wonderful ideas for memorials, especially gardens and trees and granite with names so we do not forget. Your stories touched me deeply. I am 82 and my family, so far, has been safe. I have lost dear friends but not to Covid.
I pray every day that our President can turn this country around. He has only had one month and already made good things happen. He truly cares for this country and its people. We must all do our part to make sure trumpsters never get elected again.
Thank you, Dan Rather, for this place.
How do we never forget 9/11?
How do we never forget the Holocaust?
How do we never forget World Wars?
Memorials are everywhere. In statues, plaques, buildings, monuments, structures, written word. How do we remember over half a million people for such a senseless loss? Will these memorials above suffice? One place they will never be lost or forgotten is to keep their names in our hearts. Tell their lives to our families and friends. Keep their stories alive that way.
Helen Roenfeldt - Mission Haiti director
I find the number of deaths overwhelming...... It is unbearable....... My hearts aches for the families grieving their loved ones
While I think it is important to make a memorial to those we have lost and a tribute to front-line medical workers, I'd really like to see something honoring the research teams who developed effective vaccines in record time. They have greatly exceeded expectations and their work will save many lives.
The glue that held my family together died from COVID two weeks ago in Ohio. He was my Uncle Mike Dixon Sr. He was the youngest of 8 siblings. We only had two aunts and him left. Now he has transitioned. He was the one that stood in the gap. When things really got crazy at home he came to the rescue; and my Aunt Gloria who is deceased. They would straighten everything out, make my dad go home with him until he sobered up. He was available when my dad was nowhere to be seen; on business trips or just not able to be located. While my dad was absent he offered to help because my mother did not drive. He was a veteran, super intelligent, with such a big heart. He always showed up and showed out. With the rest of us still here it will be such a void, just remembering important events, I could either look to my left or look back and see him with an encouraging smile.
He rescued us during domestic violence.
One time rescuing my he and my dad both ended up with black eyes. When we even saw his car pull up, he would turn our sad faces into smiles. He always had something positive things to say, provided opportunities for our dysfunctional family to stay together; a pig roast, holiday cookouts, family investing, and mentor to all of us who were closest to his age. He and my Aunt Gloria showed up at my graduation, when my own dad was off somewhere on TDY or whatever. This man had a true spirit. He knew what his purpose was; and he truly fulfilled it. We all are going to miss him and maybe some of the younger folks in my family will take on where he left off. Otherwise our family will drift apart. I’m truly going to miss the many smiles he brought to my face, binging me out of continuous sadness. “I love you Uncle Michael”. Watch over us.
Having had Long Covid since late March, feeling like I was finally getting a big better in May/June, getting reinfected in July, and dealing with continual shortness of breath, chest pains, migraines, eye pain and vision changes, tinnitus, so much fatique and exhaustion. CT scans showing my lungs were 1/2 full of Covid debris, skin turning blueish, in and out of the hospital and super low blood pressure.... having a safe place to discuss symptoms and solutions on FB in the "Long Haul COVID Fighters - Round 2 (Onset of illness AFTER 04/01/20))" group -- I can vouch for the healing that comes knowing you are not alone. Early on in Covid the Dr's were very dismissive. To quote my Dr. "You either get better in two weeks or you are in the hospital on a ventilator. If you are still sick you are the only person in the world that has it longer than two weeks. Now there is awareness. I am better now finally at month 11. Many in my Covid Long Haul group have also noticed that they are finally feeling back to normal at the one year mark. I think people don't like to discuss it, because like me, we are applying for jobs and doing our best to function like normal and not let the world know how many times we have been on the edge of death with this thing. There has been grief involved as well. To feel like your body has aged 20 years, after having NO PRE EXISTING conditions, there is grief for "quality of life" and the ability to go for a run or have the energy to accomplish normal.
I think planting 500,000 trees is an amazing idea. I think there is now an awareness of the many still suffering with long covid a year later. Mount Sinai and other hospitals have long covid clinics now and people are getting better. The vaccine is so important. I would never want anyone to go through the near death trauma I and so many others of ALL AGES have gone through. Our last age call out in my group had so many in their 20's and up through 70's. There is even a group for long covid kids, parents looking for answers for the childrens illness for the last year.
Good news is people are getting better. Having a safe place to listen, encourage, care, support, speak up, help, and give, is excellent. Having a search function for people new to the group to see all the threads addressing the wide swatch of symptoms. God bless the administrators.
I like the idea of groves of trees in states with the number of trees equal to the number dead and a way to post the names and either DOB and DOD or age of each. In addition, I like the idea of a memorial winding its way through the memorials in Washington DC with names and ages also. My question is -- what about all the people with long-haulers who are suffering? How do we honor them? And, perhaps a memorial with statues of all the ESSENTIAL WORKERS -- checkers, doctors, nurses, janitors, med techs, EMTs, ambulance drivers, etc. So many of them died and also have long-haulers....this was a travesty of unimaginable impact and SO UNNECESSARY! We must also somehow recognize scientists and illuminate the lies that lead to this horror inflicted on our nation.
My Dad died at the end of March, 2020. He was 71, he had a heart condition. He was terrified of Covid-19 and wouldn’t go to the hospital when he fell ill with a “bad flu” and vomited for days. He died in a pool of his own blood, in bed. His partner found him in the morning.
We will never know if he had Covid as the medical examiner and his own doctor felt an autopsy wasn’t needed due to his underlying heart condition. There was little to no testing in his city. His state is just beginning to ask its citizens to wear masks, a year later.
We had no funeral. I live one state away and have only seen my remaining family - my mom and sibling - for a totally of one day in the last year as we try to keep Mom safe. I am isolated. I am grieving. I consider our family a casualty of Covid, whether Dad had it or not. It has inflamed my grief and interrupting what few mourning rituals allowed to us in this culture.
It’s so painful to me to see people denying this pandemic, vacationing in Cancun, eating out every week. I despair of ever feeling at peace again.
Thank you, Steady Team and Mr. Rather, for your compassion and the space to share my story.
The AIDS quilt(s) really helped so many of us and moved me to appreciate the massive losses we suffered as those of us were left behind. I think a Covid quilt would serve the same purpose very well.
I like the idea of a way to memorialize all who were lost. I live in rural NE and when 9-11 occurred I had to add up the total loss of several small towns in my area. But this many lost is more than the most recent census of Omaha, think of Omaha just gone, wiped off the map. I think the tree idea rocks, if each state could have a place that can have the trees planted it would be beautiful. It would even be a nice thing to see in Washington DC, even if it was flowers or something. So much sadness.
I don't think most people really comprehend the scope of what 500,000 anything looks like -- unless it affects them personally. If we provide a frame of reference I think it would resonate and be more impactful. 500,000 is the same as if the entire population of Atlanta or New Orleans or Cleveland disappeared PLUS 50,000 more. Or the entire combined populations of Miami and Ann Arbor. Or almost the entire population of Washington, DC, or Tucson, or Denver, or Boston. What would it mean if entire cities could disappear?
I have a tendency to find solace in nature. Watching all of this go on and on and on is hard. Not only has death affected me personally, but that also seems to go on and on and on. I don't know how to say this, but it almost feels like there is no finality, like there is with the death of a loved one during "normal" times. Those deaths are usually part of the cycle of life, and this is so not that! That being said, I can maybe get back to a sense of normalcy when winter ends, and the spring brings new life to the land, the summer birds return the wildlife becomes active,, the grass starts to grow, the land becomes colorful, and the garden is planned. This will be my memorial. I will put life into this summer like never before, as this has been a year like never before, with sadness but also with comfort in mind. Maybe the beginning of a new season of life will somehow bring an end to that feeling of drifting, and to the on and on and on.
In the Native American traditions, specifically Oglala Lakota, a memorial powwow is held a year after the death of a loved one. The family and friends spend a year preparing, gathering funds, gathering blankets and clothes, making items both practical and decorative. Afeast is held, with emphasis on feeding the needle, the elderly and veterans first. Enough food is prepared so that groups in need may take home wateca buckets of leftovers to be consumed at need. The presents are given in the name of the one who died, to honor his/her name and memory. Again, the emphasis is on giving needed items to the poor and the elderly. However, special items (sometimes former possessions of the deceased) are given to friends, caretakers, or people who were important in the person's life. People tell stories of his or her life and share what they carry forward of that person in their own lives. It takes an entire day.
I think what our wonderful new president is doing is helping. Just the way he speaks from his own experience, his own loss. I would like to see either a Facebook site or someplace where those who have lost friends and family can leave a memorial with a picture. Stories need to be told. We have so many broken hearts. Stories need to be aired on news programs every day. We can NEVER forget this. If Trump went to jail for his negligence- that would be golden.
I know of no one in my family or circle of friends who contracted COVis-19 or have died from the disease. I never knew anyone personally who died in Viet Nam either. Or WWII. I have been to the tomb of the unknown solider and cried. And to the Viet Nam memorial and wept over the carnage. But, unfortunately few Americans have the opportunity to be present at these memorials and understand and feel the loss. So as we face a loss of life that surpasses Viet Nam and WWII (and WWI), how can be bring a memorial to a place accessibly to everyone? Perhaps regional memorials like the Viet Nam Wall? Or, as someone earlier in these comments said, a grove of trees somewhere close by different communities? I don't have an answer to my own questions, but I do wish for something, somewhere that more people devastated by this disease's impact on their own lives and the lives of their communities can be visited. And like the AIDS memorial, something that puts a name to each of the half million individual people we have lost.
A memorial garden in every city or town that lost someone to this horrible and altogether unnecessary pandemic, much like 911 memorials that exist all over the country.
Thank you for giving us this safe space to acknowledge Grief. To remember, There is so much Love in these comments. Such a reminder that we are in esssence Love.
I'm loving all the suggestions and expressions of love and grief. It's a wonderful testament to the kindness that is characteristic of many of the folks who live in this country. Thanks to all of you, and, you, Dan Rather, for sharing your compassion, your heart, your goodness.❤️🙏
I lost my father-in-law December 18th to Covid. I’ve been in this family for nearly 40 years, and he was the only father figure I ever had. He was the most perfect Nonno to my children and his other 8 grandchildren. His loss is devastating and he will be greatly and forever missed.
I love the idea of planting a tree for every life lost. I living remembrance for those no longer living. My heart is with all lose who have also lost, some so many.
I have appreciated President Biden's memorial services. They both provided moments of catharsis when I could weep for those we have lost.
Since I worked in healthcare, I vowed from the beginning of my career to always remember that the tests and cultures I was working on were not numbers: they were people who were loved and valued by others. I thought about how I'd want my family members and loved ones to be treated in the hospital or in the lab. I very much appreciate various CNN anchors memorializing some of those who have succumbed, reminding us that these were people who lived actual lives and who are loved and missed. I think it's very important that we not lose sight of that.
I'm sure there will be an eventual physical memorial but I don't know what shape that could or would take. Someone here mentioned a memorial grove of trees. I love that idea and that is something that would not only remind us of the lives lost but also give back to our planet.
I knew a pandemic would eventually hit us and I have warned about it for years; it was only a matter of when. I almost thought it might not happen in my lifetime. Sadly, I was very wrong. I have studied past pandemics. It's still hard to wrap my brain around the fact that decades from now, they will be studying this pandemic. We're always a part of history. But I have never felt it as acutely as I do now. From a scientific perspective, I'll admit to being fascinated by it. But from a human perspective, it is horrifying and heartbreaking. We can't lose the latter. A national memorial will be necessary to remind us of all those we have lost.
I hope we find a National way to honor the nurses who work so hard to help us. I pray people don’t become complicit and think wearing masks isn’t necessary. I pray for healing.
Maybe a memorial flag like the MIA-POW that can fly with our American Flag, something with a GoFundMe account, not utilizing US government funds, that should be spent on fighting this national disaster. Something simple on White background ?and an inspiring symbol, unique and we will remember our friends, family and loved ones
We memorialize by taking action to assure that this deadly fiasco never happens again: 1) a national commission of experts to analyze what went wrong and why and recommend systemic changes to prevent recurrence 2) based upon commission recommendations, new federal laws to implement necessary changes in public health policy 3) seriously upgrade federal-state public health coordination 4) immediately provide whatever funding is necessary to accomplish these goals.